The campus
girls have tremendously upped their game when it comes to using men for their
own selfish needs. Guys, the following are 8 crucial signs that your crush is
using you based on the role you play in her life.
1)
The Porter
On the
varsity opening date she lady calls and says “hey Johnny!... I missed you so much!…Can you please come pick me up at
the main entrance?” you rush to the gate feeling all bubbly only to find
her standing next to 5 traveling bags. Two bags on each hand and another on
the back you carry them to her hostel 2 miles away. She even has the audacity
to hang her voluminous pink handbag on your neck. The only thing you might get
out of such a generous gesture is some stale juice!
2)
Errand boy
She treats
you like her unpaid laborer. You are the guy she asks to book her a seat in
class, photocopy some notes, take her faulty appliances to a technician, repair
a blown socket and do all kinds of odd jobs. The idea you are her fixer creates
this illusion that she cannot live without you so you do all she asks. All
throughout your time in college you become the guy she calls only when she is
in need.
3)
Body guard ( G4S)
After
spending months in the gym to achieve your current muscular, warrior-like
physique suddenly this pretty lass is all over you. She asks you to walk her
home every evening, go out partying on Friday and if anyone does as much as
stare at her derriere a minute longer you clobber them senselessly.
After
fantasizing for weeks you finally go to her place and declare your feelings. She
plays dumb shocked “How could you? I’ve
always thought of you as my big bro!” Just then her boyfriend walks in to
take her to the sandy beaches of Lamu for the weekend.
4)
Dr Phil
“My boyfriend is such a douche bag... you are
the sweetest guy ever!… wish I had a boyfriend like you! ” she blurts out
amid sobs. This is the 6th time she has broken up with her boyfriend
and came to you for comfort and relationship advice. Sobbing in your arms you
give her 50 reasons why she should forget him and get a guy she deserves (You).
A day later you hear she is back with her jackass boyfriend. The next time you’ll
get to see her is when the guy impregnates and kicks her out.
5)
Money bags
Cash makes
every guy an attractive mate. Hordes of opportunistic campus ladies will flock
around you especially if you don’t mind spending on them. You end up taking her
to fancy places she cannot afford, buying expensive gifts and sending her airtime
so she can call her boyfriend. “Aki Jaymo I’m so bored! Si you take us bowling?”
Without a second thought, you take her and her two best friends to the Village
Market and footing all bills.
6)
Trophy boyfriend
This mostly happens
to guys on the higher side of the looks department and celebrities. The girl
tags you along to social events, gets cozy with you before her green-eyed
friends and is for public display of affection. At first, it boosts your ego
making you feel like the hottest guy in town, then reality begins to set in.
She avoids spending time alone with you. You are simply the trophy she enjoys
flaunting in public. The furthest you’ll ever get is kissing and groping.
7)
The nerd
All
through the semester, the flawless beauty in class barely notices you apart
from the occasional plea for help with her assignments. Flash forward a week to
end of semester exams she is all over you. She even invites you to her room for
dinner. Expecting a romantic candle-lit dinner you end up teaching her calculus
and get some cold, tasteless meal at midnight before being kicked out!
8)
Taxi driver
Once you buy
a nice ride (not a Pro-box) a number of girls who initially didn’t give a rat’s
ass about you suddenly have a change of heart. When she and her friends want to
go to for a concert you are the guy she calls. The thought of dancing with this
magnificent creature all night warms your gonads. You immediately fill up your
fuel tank and drive them to Nakuru for the concert. Soonest you arrive they all
disappear into the crowd leaving you all alone.
At 5am the
next day they stagger back to your car. Diligently you drive them back to Nairobi,
disappointed and broke. The next time she’ll call is when she wants you to take
her to Sagana lodge.
I get so pissed whenever I see guys in my
campus continually used and still do nothing about it. Fellas, you need to grow
some balls! If your relationship is tilted to her favor read the riot act. If
she doesn’t treat you any better drop her and get one who treats you with
respect!
Remember, if
you are not the main guy in her life then you have totally no business being in
it!
By Mark Maina
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